I've been thinking about balance lately and have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a "system" or "technique" to achieve it. Our lives are complex systems with innumerable variables which are constantly in flux. The idea that there could be some sort of stasis called "balance" amongst all of this seems unnatural. The more I've learned about complex systems, the more I see this reinforced. So, what's the alternative then?
For me, balance brings to mind the image of a tightrope walker. Let's go with that... If you dig deeply into what's going on there are immeasurable variables. Rope tension, pole rigidity, the walker's energy level, what they've eaten, air turbulence, breathing rate, temperatures, thoughts, and possibly attempting to juggle at the same time (really dude? showoff...)...on and on... So, this set of actions to achieve a goal - to make it across a tightrope - is comprised of a set of infinitely complex variables.
As you start to extrapolate that across all the various aspects of our lives it's a wonder any of us manages to figure out how to do anything! And yet...we do.
How do we do it?
- By keeping our eye on bigger picture goals
- By maintaining a high level of awareness of ourselves and outside influences
- By learning and practicing the relevant skills
- By losing focus on what we're trying to achieve
- By being lured into tension relieving, short term actions
My fake New Years Resolutions (I really didn't make any except to continue doing my part to keep the champagne industry in business...):
- Learn to sit with tension until I understand its source
- Pause more often to think about other people's motivations, view points and feelings
- Give thought to understanding my resistance to actions (especially running...ugh, I still hate it...but I know why and I've found ways to overcome that feeling and get out there)
- Acknowledge and embrace the things (which aren't necessarily tangible "things") that make me happy and attempt to foster more of them in my life, especially by letting go of not-so-happy-making things to make room.
- Don't try to fill up every waking moment with stuff to do.
As an aside, the blogging 15 minutes a day thing is working GREAT!!! I genuinely look forward to it, leave wanting more and sometimes use those 15 minutes for research or strategizing blog topics. If I get off track or miss a day, it's so much easier to jump back in knowing I only have to sit down for 15 minutes to start again. Seriously - try it if you have a habit you've been trying to reinforce. I'd love to hear if it works for you!
Tequila.
ReplyDeleteCan you tell I've been doing my 15 minutes a day of Tequila too, Joe? ;-)
ReplyDeleteIn teaching, I realize that each student has a different set of variables so I can't just show all of them a 'system' to further their education. I realize that they each have different goals and different attributes that will lead them to those goals. It's important to assess each goal and have a good understanding of the students strengths and weaknesses to create a balanced approach. Others use yelling. Oh, And knuckle wrapping.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever find it hard to get students to articulate goals? Have you noticed any patterns, like typically at first their goals are very narrow? Or they have big goals but don't have a sense to get from "big goal" to "executable steps"? I'm curious what sort of goal setting guidance you've needed to provide. Probably most yelling, right?
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