Do you have a place to be bad?

People seem to put a lot of pressure on themselves to be good at something right from the start...do you ever specifically think about your "place to be bad" when you're learning something new?

A couple weeks ago I chatting with a world renown athlete.  You know who this person is...I guarantee it (or you're part of some weird biodome experiment...and if so, why are you reading this blog?).  He has excelled in his chosen sport and at many other things in life.  We got talking about how he wanted to learn to cook and he said, "Yeah, but I probably won't because I don't think I'll be good at it."  I said, "Of course you won't be good at it right away...that's what makes learning new things fun!"  We got to talking about the pressures he, and others, put on themselves to perform at some arbitrary level deemed "good" right off the bat.

It made me realize how often people don't think about the fact that you need "somewhere to be bad" when you're starting out learning a new skill.  Time and again people jump into the "goal" rather than being realistic about the work and the conditions needed up front to get there.  If you want to learn to cook, don't start by throwing a dinner party for a dozen people.  Maybe offer to bring a forgettable side dish to a friend's pot luck, and then have a "plan b" ready if that falls apart.

As I started writing this blog, my first instinct was to tell everyone about it and shout from the virtual mountain top "Hey people - look at all the great stuff I have to say!"  I had to catch myself and ask, "What the heck woman...why are you putting all that extra pressure on yourself when you don't even know if you'll keep this up for a week?"  So, I've sent the link out to a small group of friends so far and it's much more fun for me without that pressure. 

So, therein lies my question for today...why do we put that pressure to be good on ourselves right from the start?  Is it society?  Is it our parents?  Madison avenue?  Hollywood?  Do yourself (and the rest of us) a favor and intentionally choose an appropriate "place to be bad" when you're starting out.  Even better...enjoy being bad at something!  Once you're recognized as having a skill, it's a heck of a lot harder to go back to enjoying making mistakes.  The thrill of discovery will never come as often and as intense as it does at the beginning.  Sit back, be bad and enjoy it.

And even when you're good at something you still need a place to be bad from time to time...and you'll still make mistakes...you've probably just got a more developed skill set to recover from them!